Recorded by Linda Pulsipher (written in 1994)
Pre-Married Years
Gary and I met when I was 16 and he 18. I lived in La Jolla
and he in El Cajon. We met at the LDS church youth dances. He actually had a
liking for my best friend Patty Gwin, we were always together. But, at one
particular dance, she was not there, so he asked me outside and questioned me
as to her whereabouts. This was the first time we spent any time talking with
one another and I guess we both enjoyed it because at the Mormon night at the
Padre game, unbeknownst to each other, we had both been looking for each other.
When we finally spotted each other, we were able to enjoy the rest of the game
together. I don’t remember the game, only how excited I was to have found Gary
and to be sitting with him. Gary made a call to my house that week when I
wasn’t home and talked to Maria, asking her if she thought I would go out with
him, she assured him that I would! He called later and asked me out and the
“first date” was set. I was so excited, he was wearing a light blue turtleneck
with light pants and blue shoes, I was wearing a Hawaiian print shirt, white
skirt and red shoes. We looked good (at least to each other anyway)! From the
very start, Gary was so easy to talk to, I was never uncomfortable, and he was
so easy to be with. (Me being a somewhat shy, non-verbal person that was really
something!) We went to dinner (Chuck’s steak house), for a walk along the Cove and
later a movie (Foul Play with Goldie Hawn). We both had a great time and
continued to see each other after that. Soon we found out that we were related,
our great-grandfathers married sisters, making us third cousins. We just found
this somewhat amusing, nothing else, as we were much to young to think about
being married anyway. We continued to see each other for the next nine months,
usually every weekend and then on Tuesday, as well. We did live 25 minutes away
from each other, so it was a good drive. Gary and I always got along extremely
well; we enjoyed each other’s company and liked being together when ever
possible. The only problem we did have is our friends never did get along with
each other to well. So we really didn’t do things as a group to often. Maria
dated Kirk for a time, but that was even worse, Gary and I were like the
responsible parents trying to keep them out of trouble, thank goodness that
didn’t last very long. Gary and his friends had somewhat of a different sense
of humor than my friends and myself. I eventually got used to it, although I am
not sure if anyone else ever did. (If you know Gary’s family and friends, you
know what I am talking about.) Gary left for his mission in June 1979, on my
birthday I believe. This was somewhat upsetting for me as Gary and I had become
quite close, needless to say everyone that was at the airport that day would
remember the total fool I made of myself, in retrospect, I should not have been
there that day. We continued to write through his mission remaining somewhat
close through letters. I found it difficult to think of other guys in terms of
dating as my heart was with Gary. We never discussed me waiting for him or
anything, for me nobody else could compare. Gary served a good mission and I
finished high school and then went on to Ricks for a year. Looking back,
perhaps we should not have written so much. It was Gary’s time to serve the
Lord with a singleness of heart and my time to educate myself and meet new
people. We missed each other a great deal; perhaps some of that pain could have
been avoided if we didn’t write so much, perhaps not? Two years is a very long
time, when Gary returned home, we were two different people, in spite of the
fact that we had remained so close through letter, Gary felt the need for more
space but at the same time our relationship picked up where it left off, which
left me somewhat confused. Gary and I both have different opinions as to what
the problem was, but I decided it was best for me to leave for awhile. Maria
and I went to BYU Hawaii or a semester, leaving Gary all the space he needed. I
had a great time in Hawaii, enjoying the sun and surf, somewhat confused about
my relationship with Gary, I still cared for him very much and we wrote and my
friends kept me informed on what they saw of him at dances, etc. I didn’t date
in Hawaii, what can I say, nobody asked. But Gary did, and at some point I
guess he realized he really wanted to be with me. When I returned from Hawaii,
it had been six months since Gary got home from his mission. Our relationship
started up again, the way it was before he left. We had great times with each
other and a closes that continued to pull us together. We continued to date
again for 9 months before we were married. Gary had a lot of school ahead of
him and we were young, Gary was 22 and I 20. I remember one particular day, a
discussion we had, we had become very close, so close that we were afraid of
moral transgression, we could only think of two choices, put more space between
us or get married. Neither of us cared for the thought of any more space
between us, so the only other alternative was to get married. I think that is
about as close to a proposal as we got. He did give me a promise ring when I
returned from Hawaii, and then later we upgraded to a somewhat larger diamond,
but being the practical people we were (are) we decided it was best to save our
money for more important things (like food and rent). To this day, I am still
waiting for the diamond ring I have always dreamed of (we have been married for
12 years, as I write this). I do remember another particular day when we were
at his house that we picked a day to be married, and that is when, I believe,
that we announced it to our families. We were married in the Los Angeles temple
August 7, 1992. We held our receptions and the LDS Institute building at San
Diego State. There were many, many people, and it was very nice and beautiful.
In retrospect I only would have changed two things, the building (it was
halfway between our homes so we decided it would be best, but I regret the
orange carpeting and drapes that seemed to clash with everything) and I would
have picked out my own bridesmaid dresses, (I let them go with me and give the
their input but it’s not what I would have chosen). Other than those two
things, it was a beautiful reception and Gary and I were very happy. That night
we stayed in a hotel downtown and in the morning we left for Las Vegas where we
spent 2 more days on our honeymoon. (Still being very practical people, it was
a very cheap honeymoon!) But we had a great time and wouldn’t have changed a
thing!
